Lost pages...

"Tudum-tudum-tudum"that's everything that  i can hear and everything that i don't understand ..everything that is uncertain..or even things that are certain started to lose their awful meaning..i started to believe that maybe I am a masacre...I wake up from this fantasy in which i tend to lose my thoughts, my mind, my sorrows..so as, to confront my vivid image to the things that seem to conquer my  empty spaces....fire..that's all i can think of..to set fire to everything...i want it all to become ashes..memories, dreams, flawless hopes...i want them all gone..not to remember that they were part of me..no to assure me that they will reveal some kind of unspoken desilusion...not to make them define me..Everything is sketched to be turned into evil..to be driven to extrems ..to pass over the inner voice..
Everything is waiting for a future  war ...a new storm to take everything away...

More..

We are absorbed by every feeling that keeps gringing our insides,We are justified to bleed until we undo the spell that haunted our eyes for a decade or even more...We are seemingly keeping our eyes closed forever and even more..."More and more"Thease words seem to control us..Thease words give us wings ...In a grim voice they keep repeating themselves over and over and over again..you can't make the voices to calm down ..they keep whispering every single moment..every hour ..every second:"Go for it and ask for more"...i keep wondering ..will this destroy us entirely?

Actors.

We confide our deepest secrets to someone...someone who seems as a resemblance of your bare  reflection...to someone that you treasure ..to someone that your understandable conscious seems to accept..to pass over the imperfection and understand."To understand what?" the question comes out of the answer ,yet still without a reliable explanation..
In  a sort of ecstasy you seem to veil..To feel betrayed at short notice...I get it now...it has always been there but maybe deep down I denied it with all my heart..I never wanted to believe that ...I get attached to small..insignificant things..that afterwards turn against me...I see the good in people..i tend to believe in words,promises, guidance,true frienship..and that's something that cannot be fixed..
We tend to forsee our  life as a stage...to play our role perfectly..to get blinded by temptations, by guilt,anger..and that drives you to the middle of nowhere...I guess that's my key to the underground portal...To run away..to simply forget..
We tend to idle in hatred for eternity....

Timeless.

Time ..has never been my friend ..in its flawless way it always passed right before my eyes ..never understanding its duty ..it's legacy ..during its flight  burning everything that touches ..maybe not predictably enough...For me it doesn't have a reliable explanation ...only that sometimes it feels exactly like a masacre of the things we love ..even of our own selves..unconciously we forget that everything passes .sooner or later ..nothing remains the same ...we pretend to be wiser ..but it's just in our obscure mind ...We become dominated by time..by undefined moments ...coordinated by  delusional thoughts that keep searching for perfection..the perfection that does not exist only in our bare imagination..

Recordings

It's hard to predic where you see yourself  within the next years..it's the unknown that scares me most...you don't know the substract of any logical fact...it seems out of place to assure yourself that you can dream of rainbows when  you're clearly standing in the hurricane...They say I tend to be indecisive because I don't know which path to take.but ..During this obsessive drive your thoughts are unsure..As I try to write the pages of my life ..the shadow  keeps appearing between my eyes and the cashmere pages...it keeps revealing anecdotes and insecurities that obscurs my mind..it accompenies me even in the most hostile places and it's just haunting me over and over again.