Reality

"Clear your head"-he whispears while she was getting dressed..
"I never meant it you know" he was smiling , just like a predator when he finally got what he wanted.
"I never meant to break your heart , love,I just never thought you had one"
She wasn't even gazing at his words but that one word made her  lungs stop breathing,and her heart stopped beating for a second .From his voice the word sounds different..her brain couldn't percept the stimuli in order to understand the message..It was just one word..that maybe didn't mean a thing. just like any other words he whispeared to her ear that made her melt.
It was his voice..his tone .. the dazzling vocals that felt like the most bitter-sweet symphony.
She knew..it was time to leave, it became too real this time.And reality wasn't her thing.

Maps that lead to nowhere

Today ..was  just another day .ordinary in other words..
Ordinary..what a word..fancy I  might consider..
Empty..with my bare fingers pressing the letters on my laptop..
As if they could feel my empty thoughts..
What a shame they are not as bare as they appeared to be..
I thought that I was going to finish my post by the time the smoke from my cigarette would fade..
But the truth is ..I kept starring at the empty page...without a vague idea of how was I going to describe my feelings this time..
I feel lost in a world, where  the letters keep running in a peristaltic manner and I can't manage to catch them..and to put them in the right order
I can't put the map together..not this time..I can't  seem to find the X that marks the spot..not this time..I keep moving but without a destination..without a familiar face to rely on..
I kept wondering ...how could I believed you?
Words are just words without a meaning ..And I know you tried to keep them tight in your arms but they still managed to run away.
You needn't have promised me the moon and the stars because during the day they tend to hide from the crystal blue sky and all you have left is nothing.
My only regret was believing in you ,but i won't make the same mistake twice.

Overrated

Overrated...everything is overrated.. words, smiles and even actions..
There's nothing fair.. not even tears are fair anymore.
Is it wrong to feel lost in a moment you thought you had everything?
Happiness is lethal...
I have never been  good with lies..
I have never been good at dealing with them..
They call it naivety and maybe innocence...but is it so wrong to trust?
Is it so wrong to believe in honesty?
One thing  is certain...autumn dictates my destiny..
A skinny love will never last..maybe for a moment...lost 
Your love is already wasted...

Au revoir

Is it the thrill?
The anger?
A smile that makes you melt faster than a popsicle on a hot  summer day..
Fairytales don't always have a  happy ending, do they?
Tell me, is there something to gain from  this story?
A recycled heart and a broken smile  ..and nothing more..
She finally understood, there was nothing left of this story....not even the good parts, they have all fade away , carried away by the wind maybe to another now..maybe in ten years' time they'll meet again at their old place, maybe they won't even recognise eachother   or maybe they'll be brought to life again but trust me ,that would be unlikely..
For now she should just pack her things and go, but the coffin of memories shall remain behind , burried  in a tight place, a small place , forgotten because she'll want to return whenever she's afraid of the dark .But not this time ,she can't bring flowers to the grave ,not until she's ready to come back ..The only thing she needs is her red lipstick to conquer the world.The door slams.
It's time to go now ,she doesn't want to miss the plane again.
There's no coming back.

Tell me

Tell me,
What makes you so special?.
Is it your long curly brown hair?
or your ocean-like eyes?.
or maybe your perfectly curved lips?
is it the smell cinnamon that is imprinted on your skin?
or the air of mystery that you leave behind everytime you pass him by?

Is it the hunger?The high?The past?The nostalgia?The crave for a body to possess?
 A dose of ecstasy  whenever you desire to fly..
.Just like a drug-addict you keep on asking for more ...
Forever more...

question?

Too late

The mirror shows you someone..someone that you used to know...a beauty that in the moonlight overthrows you..a reminiscence of a slander of someone familiar in a way or another..
Is it someone you used to know from another life or another now?
Your questions remained unanswered
You used to runaway from everything that scared you...You used to  blame the destiny and curse the faith that wouldn't leave your sight when he was gone..You hoped in your twisted mind that maybe he'll return..
"How  foolish of you!"whispered your own reflection , "he did come back , but you don't need him anymore".It's too late...

Much more

One day you wake up and everything is gone..
The ache, the pain ,the grief are no longer there
you wake up with the thought that everything is crystal clear
Everything made sense and everything happend for a reason
The reason I don't know today maybe someday
But one thing is for  sure ,you deserve better
Not better but the best
you deserve someone to cherish  and to believe in you
You deserve to be  more than just the other woman
You have more than cherry lips and  flawless skin
And I know it was hard to undress the tattoed kisses and marks that were printted on it
But you need to understand that sometimes things get out of fashion
You have more than just a pair of green eyes because they only reminded him of the dazzling seas
but he couldn't see the chaoes that was behind those stunning lashes..a hurricane that he was unable to see
I know you will be alright .

Certain words

Sweet Words are still words...that most of the time don't mean a thing, but they keep haunting you in the cold nights
Tones of expectations that are only brought to life during the majestuous nights
There come nights in which you could anethetize your heart..maybe for a second , not to feel, not to think and most of all not to hope.. or maybe hope is what keeps us alive.
one thing is clear
I adored you in  more ways that you could ever imagine..

Choices

Days..weekes..months
And nothing happens
nothing gets better and nothing gets worse
it feels like time stands still without any  warning
it feels hopeless
unfair and wrong
The story was not meant to be this way
She was drawn to the wrong story as usual
She made the wrong choice again
What a surprise..

Eternity

Forever feels like an eternity..
A dull nonsens of events that might never occure..
The echo of voices that lays against my skin just like a  feather ..
Soft in an angelic manner
Your voice lingers with every vowel that gives color to every word you speak
A bitter-sweet harmony that cuts worse than the sharp knives..
Merciless, you open my chest without the fear that I might die in the proces
You are  just trying to find that piece of you that was missing
But  to your astonishment it was long gone..
or maybe it was never here

Actors

Songs  from the unknown
Whispers that keep on remembering us the things we wished we forgot..
Like a movie that has been running in the cinema for ages..
without an audience..without a public..without someone to watch the awful scenes full of hope and despair in the same time..
The memory of you keeps on coming into flashes before my eyes...
"a memory" that I am not sure it's even real becase it feels overrated

It feels that you have never been here..
Not even your ghost or your shadow...there are no prints that belonged to you..
Not even  a stamp of your touch..
 
Everyone of the spectators that witnessed  the scenes would tell you that the plot was badly written and the actors were not even engaged in the story.But She would tell you otherwise.the story of her life.

And

I love the drama and the endings more than anything,the sundown , the ending of a song ,a book, a week ,a day..
I love the pain that cuts down every cell of your body because in the end you are going to find yourself..a self full of hand prints of the ones that loved you, the ones that  desired you and even the ones who betrayed you.
Beginnings are full of hope , despair and the vague idea that everything lasts forever..and to be honest it bores me cause they are all the same , constant in their essence without the salt and bitter-sweetness.
As he was staring at the ceilings ,he noticed the prints that seemed everywhere in that room..It was like the scene of a crime and he was searching for evidence ..

"I never thought you were that fragile"
or
"Is it all part of the act?"

Sorry.

Here I stand again..
Alone with the night and with you on my mind ..The silence is even louder than it used to be..
I try to pretend that I don't feel anything but who am I trying to lie?
I am not fine and I am tired of this act..
The only truth is that you lied to me in far too many ways..
I only asked for honesty and that was the only thing that you could not give..
.Emotions shouldn't be that hard to borrow since "love" was never a word you came to understand..
I pity you for not being able to feel..but your coldness   won't do me any good and that is why I need to let you go..
I must confess that I really wished you had let me in but now is too late ..
I'm sorry I believed in you and I never saw that you were on a road to misery, a place where I ended because of you...
I don't want to make the same mistake twice and I shall not be played again.

I was here.

Magic

I have alway loved the thing that did not fit in the big picture..and  I don't even know why, or maybe I do , maybe the air of mystery brings me to places that I've never dreamt to see.
Maybe the dust.. the memories ..the past  keep on dictating my steps..
I am just searching for the road to happiness..but am I ?in fact,I am sure now that I keep on running from it because I am afraid that the magic will fade.
The puzzle one day will be complete and I wouldn't want that to happen..and maybe that is why I keep on repeating the same mistakes..
One thing is for sure, we all have magic inside of us , beside the flesh and blood there is somehing that we cannot describe , the way our  body works is just pure magic and the sad part is that sometimes we forget how unique and special we really are.We don't need to prove others anything , we just have to keep looking for the spark of that divine light that we own.

Overdose

You ...you....I have pictured you in far too many details that in the end were impossible to sketch.
It seems  legit to be honest about you..even now in the final moment.
You were too easy for me to understand.You were not full of doubts , you were not asking for the underlying truth about this mad world and maybe that was  the reason I ran away.
I couldn't handle your perfect wings because mine were too broken and I was afraid to  fall if my legs didn't feel the grownd.
Even so your perfection melt my heart  even more than I expected and I will not tolerate so much cruelty..
Knocking on other souls' door should be considered a crime because once the fire is provoked there is no coming  back...

You came in a higher dose than I expected  and my vitals couldn't handle your cold hands .Don't forget your gloves next time.







You asked me once  if I was ever going to write something about you..but my lips froze and I couldn't answer..
You had to break my heart first.-that was the real answer.

Is there a cure?

Like a choros of frogs in a hot summer night ..they keep repeating the awful music that woke up even the deaf heart that was sleeping under the majestic moon , surrounded by a sea of stars..Motionless.
She could hear the whispers in her soft ear...there was no one there except from her past shadows. They came unannounced every time she was alone , they were not welcomed there but she would listen to them every time.It became a song she knew by heart.
The fog was getting thiker but she couldn't find the strenght to move.It was perfect. at least for now.
She was thinking about trust, about how much credit  she gave to the wrong people.She is so naive and hangs on to every word she hears.
Is there a cure?
Maybe not..

You

I wonder whose arms would I run and fall into if I were drunk in a room with everyone I have ever loved." Unknown
 I am sure it would be you ..a summer flame that ended far too soon...it has always been you, no matter what or who because you never left  my mind but one thing is clear.. I can't forgive you for everything that happened and how can I?
I wish things were different..
But I know that you are the one ..that takes my breath away everytime I see you..But I still remember that you are not worth it..not anymore.
We shall always remain two strangers that shared a past...maybe by chance or because it was meant to be..
Today I miss you..But tomorrow I can't promise I'll be still  here.

Tale

"You are so scared of being happy that you blow every single light that could get you to see what true joy really is..
You love the idea of pain and everything that seems out of place..You love the dark that suppresses every breath of you because you feel that you couldn't be defined otherwise and how wrong are you..." was he whispering as he was sipping from his dark bitter coffee..
But without hesitation he continued" Why are you so scared of experiencing the things that could make you glow ?why are you so scared of letting  your heart melt maybe for once?Why do you love this emptiness that surrounds every single cell of your body ?"
She gazed at him for a while but she didn't agree..How could she let her guard down?How could she let go of the only thing that helps her stay alive?
She wasn't sure about anything regarding her life but she knew  one thing: she was swimming in dangerous seas and she needed to get out...